Randall Hartman
Writer · Author · Former Pastor
“The God I feared wasn’t the God I found.”
I spent nearly forty years as a pastor, carrying questions I was often afraid to ask. Today I write about faith, doubt, the cost of changing my mind, and discovering a God who looks more like love than fear.
That line is the subtitle of my memoir, A God Awful God, out December 8. The opening scene is free.
Dec 8
A God
Awful
God
The God I Feared Wasn’t the God I Found
A memoir · Seven Lanterns Press · December 8, 2026
It began with a picture in the family Bible: God standing on the clouds, lightning shooting from His eyes. This is the story of how that picture changed, and what happened when the change began rearranging the way Randall saw other people.
“The pages flew by as I felt a wide range of emotions. Randall Hartman has written the book we need at this moment!”
Thomas Jay Oord, PhD
Director, Center for Open and Relational Theology, Northwind Theological Seminary
“An honest, searching memoir from the first page to the last… Beautifully written, compelling, profound. Highly recommended!”
David P. Gushee, PhD
Distinguished University Professor of Christian Ethics, Mercer University
What I was taught
- God is angry.
- God is watching.
- God is keeping score.
What I came to believe
God is love.
Tap a line to cross it out yourself.
Questions welcome.
New here? You don’t have to know what you believe to find something worth reading.
What if I was taught to fear the wrong God?
Is it okay to question what I’ve always believed?
Who gets to belong?
What happens when a pastor changes his mind?
Latest writing
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When We Aim God’s Lightning Toward Other People
What if the God you were taught to fear is still shaping the way you see other people? I often think about…
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What If You Gave Yourself Permission to Ask?
Have you ever had a question you were afraid to ask? I’m not talking about school days when you finally raised your…
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Do You Worship a God-Awful God?
In my upcoming memoir, I wrote this line: “God could be a God-awful God.” Have you ever thought God was awful? Be…
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What If the God You Fear Looks Like Someone From Your Past?
I was seven years old when the church gave God a name I feared: Father. Looking back, I realize that word was…
Every piece, back to 2014, with search.
From Randall’s notebook
“What kind of person is my picture of God teaching me to become?”
Randall Hartman, in When We Aim God’s Lightning Toward Other People
A pastor who kept asking questions
Nearly forty years as a lead pastor in Indiana, Ohio, and Michigan, then seven as an interim pastor from Oregon to Alaska. Still an ordained elder in the Church of the Nazarene. Randall also speaks with churches, retreats, book groups, and podcasts.
Get the opening scene of the book, free
Then an occasional letter from Randall: each new piece of writing, notes from behind the book, and excerpts not shared anywhere else. Unsubscribe any time.
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